


I Can't Let This Kill Us

by sarkywoman



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, Gunshot Wounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 02:56:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20959313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarkywoman/pseuds/sarkywoman
Summary: “You gotshot, don’t you feel it?”For the 'going into shock' square at badthingshappenbingo. Five and Klaus have both been shot, but one of them is worse off than the other.





	I Can't Let This Kill Us

**Author's Note:**

> Context isn't really necessary, but me and gratednutmeg have discussed at length an AU where Five met Klaus again on his penultimate jump and ended up dragging him to the post-apocalyptic shitshow. The Agency don't much care for him, but Five is very valuable and by the time Five's in his twenties it's just been him and Klaus for so long the Agency had no hope of separating them.

Whenever he closes his eyes, even to blink, Five hears the gunshot. Not the first one that sent pain through his side like fire, but the second one. The one where Klaus shoved him and the bullet hit his stupid, stupid brother instead.

Five presses his fingers to Klaus’ neck again, checking his pulse. It’s quick. Is it weak or is that the numbness of Five’s fingers? Either way it’s there, which is more than can be said for their assailant’s. Five had executed the man before Klaus hit the floor.

“We need to get back to the briefcase,” he mutters. The Agency can put it on his tab again. They know damn well he doesn’t work without his partner. The Handler calls him his ‘Emotional Support Junkie’. When she’s in a good mood. One day Five will make her pay for that and the things she calls Klaus when she’s feeling less cheery. 

“Hey, hey...” Klaus’ hand reaches up weakly and pats Five’s chest. “It’s gonna be okay. Barely got me.”

“It got you. We need to get back to the briefcase.”

“You said. I’m okay. Relax.”

“You’re not okay.” Five is tugging the zip down on the flapper dress Klaus insisted on wearing during their jaunt to the roaring twenties. 

Klaus hisses as the metal grazes his wound and Five snatches his hands back for a moment. 

“Sorry, sorry.”

“It’s okay, calm down, you’re freaking out.”

“You got _shot_, don’t you feel it?”

“Uh...” Klaus looks down at his side. His eyes widen a little at the blood. “Whoa. Ow. You know though, I thought it’d hurt more.”

“You’ve gone into shock.” Five tenderly touches around the area, but it looks like the bullet has just taken a chunk out of his side as it went on through. It is at the surface, thankfully, a grazing shot that’s left a nasty gouge. Blood oozes out over his fingers.

“I feel okay.”

“Yes. That would be the shock.”

“Or the drugs.”

“Your skin’s already hot around the area.”

“M’always hot.”

“We need to get back to the briefcase,” Five tells him. “You need medical attention.”

“Good plan. Are you gonna be able to make it?”

“What?”

“You’re shot too.”

Klaus’ fingers hover above the blood seeping through Five’s shirt. Looking at the crimson spreading, Five feels a wave of dizziness and has to steady himself with a hand on the ground. Pebbles dig into his palm. They hurt. “Hadn’t really thought about it.”

He’s out of breath from adrenaline as he stands. “I’ll carry you. Come on.”

“You know you’re still shorter than me.” Klaus staggers to his feet. Five tries to help pull him up, but Klaus is too heavy for him to really make a difference.

“It’s going to be okay,” Five says, patting Klaus’ arm. Reassurance isn’t one of his strong skills, but...

“Yeah, I know.”

They have to step past the dead man on the floor. Five feels another wave of dizziness at a realisation – if that idiot was a better shot he could have killed Klaus.

“We need to get back to the briefcase.”

“That’s where we’re going, Fivey. Lean on me, okay?”

Five does. If that’s what Klaus needs to make it to their destination. “You’re not supposed to… you shouldn’t have… he could have _killed_ you.” His voice cracks a little on the last word.

Then Klaus is in front of him, squeezing his hands. “Five, hey. Hey. The briefcase is just in the car, okay? The car is just over there. And I know you’re not gonna let me get into anymore trouble in that teeny-tiny distance.”

“No, I’m not,” Five mumbles.

“Awesome.” Klaus pulls him close to lean in as they walk. Five staggers a bit. “Also, while we’re chatting, I think I solved that puzzle you were working on this morning.”

“You haven’t,” Five argues, because puzzles are not Klaus’ forte. 

“Have too. The nine in the first box was a red herring.”

“It’s a Sudoku, they don’t have red herrings.”

“That’s just what they want you to think. It’s a conspiracy by Big Puzzle. If you knew you could just write in any numbers you wanted, you wouldn’t buy puzzle books anymore.”

“Since when have we paid for anything?” Five asks. They live very much outside of the law since joining the Agency. (And probably before, when he thinks of how the Academy operated.)

“Big Puzzle don’t know that. But you tell me your theory.”

“I… I don’t have a theory.”

“My Five always has theories.”

He feels really fucking cold and tired. “Okay. My theory is you doodled on my puzzle books.”

“Scandalous!” Klaus grins widely and props Five against the car as he gets the door open. He pulls out the Agency briefcase. “And totally plausible. Ready?”

“Ready.” He’s sliding down the car. 

Klaus settles down beside him and opens the case.

Five catches a glimpse of the Agency before he passes out.

Almost immediately he hears the Handler. “Psychological profiling suggests it was your endangerment that led to this, not his injuries. He’s been injured in the line of duty worse than that with barely any impediment to his ability to perform.”

“Well maybe I don’t want him injured worse than that, did you think of that?”

Klaus.

Opening his eyes, Five realises he is in the medical room of the Agency, Klaus is holding his hand and the Handler is in a foul mood.

“We eliminated the target,” Five tells her.

“Not exactly in the planned fashion,” she sneers. “But _that_ can wait, I suppose. Recover. Then we’ll talk about the impact your medical costs have on your contract.”

As she leaves Klaus makes a rude gesture at her back. Without looking back she sticks a middle finger up as she goes.

It would make Five laugh if his chest didn’t hurt so much. “You’re the only person she does that to.”

“She’d do it to you if she wasn’t hankering for your twenty-something-year-old gangly body.”

“Ew. Don’t.”

“How are you feeling?”

“You got shot.”

Rolling his eyes, Klaus says “you got shot worse.”

Five thinks over the incident again. The panic that had gripped him and smothered his higher thought processes. “I think I was in shock.” The only other time he can remember such mind-numbing fear was back in the early days of apocalypse, when Klaus overdosed and nearly left him all alone.

“Definitely. It was weird, seeing Mr Action Plan so lost.”

“I thought you were. You didn’t even feel the gunshot wound.”

“Cannot emphasise enough how many drugs I’m on at any given time. Could’ve amputated my leg, I’d have walked it off. Not like you, Mr Hyperaware.”

“All I was aware of was that I could have lost you.”

“Aww.” Klaus rests his head on Five’s middle, not too close to his injury. “You’re a big softie really.”

“You know you’re all I’ve got.” They might never get back to the Academy, after all. “Don’t scare me like that.”

“Maybe you’re all I’ve got too, you think of that?” Klaus pokes his tongue out. 

“Fair point.” Five looks Klaus over. He’s still wearing the unzipped flapper dress with a bandage beneath. “You can go get changed now. I’m okay.”

“If you’re sure,” Klaus squeezes his hand again. He turns to leave then whirls back. “Oh, I got you some fruit on the side table and a puzzle book to keep you busy.”

“Thoughtful. Thank you.”

Klaus beams and takes his leave.

Five opens the puzzle book and finds the sudoku page has been covered with a short story called ‘The Conspiracy of Big Puzzle’.


End file.
